Pardon the garden

In the Daily Mail today there was the following poem which i just loved and reminded me of my garden.

Credit goes to Mrs Pam Davies Abbots Langley, Herts.

Pardon the garden.

My garden is a picture (i was thinking of The Scream).

Though things i haven't planted are the biggest ever seen.

My nettles are magnificent, my dandelions prolific,

My pots attract a multitude of flora, non-specific.

I swear i only turned my back a moment, no more.

And there it was, wilderness where garden lay before.

Once the lawn was benign, not something to be feared.

But now its got so long and next doors granny's disappeared.

Something black and slimy, and reared on steriods by the size,

Is aiming for my marigolds, I can't beleive my eyes.

Should i call the SAS or RSPCA?

Or shall i be humane and let it slither on its way.

I need a reaper and the grimmest would be best,

To get to grips with all this grass before the woodcocks start to nest.

Somewhere underneath it all, ants must surely lurk.

I don't think i'll discourage them, i know they love to work.

I'm thinking Serengeti when i cast my eye around,

So no suprise if Yeti or wildebeest is found.

I blame the weather centre for their lack of rain control,

It started with a shower or two and ended on a roll.

All i really wanted was a dahlia or such,

Maybe some lobelia, some heather, just a touch.

A lawn where i could sip tea and eat a cake or two,

It can't can't be all that much to ask, I'm not expecting Kew.

But when they hold the contest for the garden of the year,

I'll send them up the road because, they'll never find it here!